 Self-Care for the Holidays By Jennifer Day, MSW Intern During the holidays, our to-do-lists often pile up with tasks and taking care of others. It’s important to remember that we can’t pour from an empty cup, so we must take a few minutes to recharge ourselves too!
Self-care is more than just a checklist or the latest wellness buzzword. Self-care is the human equivalent of performing routine maintenance on a vehicle – we all know we have to fuel up a car to get it to run, but we also have to make sure the tires are inflated, check and change the oil occasionally, check the brakes… you get it. Good care in advance and throughout the life of a car keeps it lasting longer and running better. It’s the same with people, especially during a season that’s sometimes busy and difficult. Here are a few inexpensive or free things you can do to keep your engine running during the holidays: 1. Schedule time for you. Think about the things you enjoy and make sure you set aside time for those things, rather than filling up your calendar with everyone else’s plans for you. Add some time to your day to practice self-care activities or just a few minutes of quiet before a gathering. 2. Practice being mindful. Things can get pretty hectic during the holidays but incorporating mindfulness into your holiday can be as simple as paying attention to only the task you’re completing right now. Even grocery shopping can be done more mindfully by noticing your surroundings, such as the sights, smells, and sounds. Going over the river and through the woods to visit family? Try mindful driving! 3. Leave space for the tough stuff. The holidays can be very difficult with grief popping up as we remember those who can’t be present with us or for situations that aren’t ideal. Since the pandemic, chances are there’s something about your holiday season you might wish looked a little different. It’s okay to notice your grief and leave space for it in your holiday. Consider whether these negative feelings come from expectations left unfulfilled and give yourself a break if you aren’t feeling festive. 4. Ask for help. Need help with baking the pies or washing the dishes? Let someone know how much you’d appreciate a hand. It’s perfectly okay to give up some responsibilities and delegate tasks during this busy season… and all year long! If you’re struggling with holiday stress, you can always reach out and schedule an appointment with your CPCS therapist. We’re here to help. However you celebrate, we wish you a holiday season full of relaxation and self-care.  Four Ways to Determine if a Therapist is the Right Fit for You by Monica Burbank, MA, LPCC Therapy helps millions of people every year feel better and achieve more than they thought possible. But it can be intimidating to open up to a stranger. To get the most out of your therapy sessions, you need to feel comfortable talking about and exploring your fears, anxieties and other challenges. That’s why it’s so important to find a therapist who is a good fit for you. When you find a therapist who is the right fit, it will feel like talking to an old friend. They will challenge you in all the ways you want and sit with you when times are tough. So how do you know if your therapist is right for you? Unfortunately, there is no all-encompassing checklist. However, here are four general questions you can ask yourself, based on my own experience both as a therapist and as a therapy client
If something feels off, consider talking about it with your therapist. Being open and honest about what you are feeling or experiencing will help your therapist better meet your needs. Keep in mind that it usually takes three to five sessions before you start to feel like you are making progress. If you still feel like you are not connecting, or if you’re not comfortable talking about it with your therapist, it’s OK to move on. It’s also OK to “shop around” for the right therapist before committing. If you do this, be transparent with your therapist(s) so they know what to expect. Finding the Best Fit at Compass Point Therapy should be unique to you because you are one of a kind. At Compass Point, we do our best to connect you with the best fit from the start. When you call or request an appointment online, you will answer a series of questions about who you are and the type of help you are seeking. We use this information to match you with a specialist who can see you within three days at your preferred location. More than 90 percent of our clients are satisfied with their therapist. But if it turns out that your therapist is not the right match, we can help you find a provider who is a better fit. Schedule an appointment today. Monica Burbank, MA, LPCC
 By now, we have all seen our ability as human beings, to come together and impact change. Cancel culture has become a modern movement for change, but is it really as helpful as it is advertised to be? Cancel culture is a modern form of withdrawing support for public figures or companies after they have done something considered offensive. Public figure Ellen Degeneres, whose motto is “be kind” and who would showcase philanthropy and kindness on her show, was cancelled due to accusations that the work environment on her show was the exact opposite of her motto. Several employees came forward to open up about a toxic work culture that fostered anything but kindness. Degeneres offered an apology and several executives of the show walked away entirely. A popular planner company founder, Erin Condren, was cancelled along with her brand after she was accused of using Black Lives Matter to stage her daughter’s graduation party/walk. Customers quickly began to take a stance and Condren took a leave of absence from the company. I believe in holding people and companies accountable for their actions and I also believe in redemption. We all have the capacity for change and we are all doing the best we can with respect to where we are in our lives. Many people do not see the intimate details of our life that help define our choices, values, beliefs and behavior. So how can we create a space for cancel culture to become a growth culture? We have all made mistakes throughout the journey of our lives and we will continue to do so - we are human. Our behaviors impact others stories in ways we may never even imagine. We have all been the hero, the sidekick, the villain and the background character in someone else's story. I like to believe that from these experiences, we grow. We learn, we change our behavior and we shift as we go on this journey of life. As a society we of course need to hold others accountable when they do wrong, but could we also not give people grace and a chance to learn and grow into becoming better? We have all made mistakes, we have all judged one another - so why can we not offer each other grace? Forgiveness is a powerful thing and without it, we become resentful, hurt, angry. I believe in creating a culture that is deeper than just cancelling someone or something. A culture that goes beyond that and moves toward growth. The company mentioned earlier, Erin Condren, has a new CEO and although she did not have knowledge of what their founder was doing in June of 2020, she took full responsibility for the ramifications that it has had on the company and developed an ongoing plan to change their company culture and hold not only the company, but all their employees, to a higher standard. Since the incident in June, the company has gotten feedback from customers and updated monthly on concrete actions and steps they are taking to change and grow. This leaves us with a decision - we can keep cancel culture as is or we can take accountability a step further and move forward together. Some who have been cancelled may not make steps toward change, but for those who do - I believe we should offer grace and give a chance to grow and learn. If we are never given a chance to learn from our mistakes and missteps in life - we will never be able to move forward. My question to you - what are your thoughts on cancel culture?
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