Mary Tanner, Author MSW, LISW-S, M.Ed.
Talk of back to school can trigger parents as much as children. Going back to homework, lunch money, after school programs, car pool etc. etc. can evoke a stress response in even the most seasoned parent. So, what can we do? First of all, Moms, Dads, Guardians, Caregivers, relax. Everything will be OK. Have fun in the remaining days of summer!
When parents ask me what they can do to help their child get ready for back -to- school, I start with the basics. I call them the “Big Four” This is a recommendation I give year- round.
If you do those 4 things with and for your child, you are giving them the best chance to feel good about themselves and to perform well at whatever activity in which they partake. Sometimes, the Big Four gets put on the back burner during the summer. It is truly beneficial to be consistent and do these things year -round. You are helping yourself too, Adults. You will have less irritable, more cooperative kiddos with which to contend. The Big Four applies to all kids big and small and to their adults, as well.
I recommend limiting screen time. Children, young and old are spending way too much time on their screens. This is one of the biggest obstacles that interfere with sleep and exercise. I have had young clients who take their I-phones, I-pads, laptops to bed with them. This is a very bad idea! One little guy I was seeing was staying up all night playing games, watching shows and falling asleep at school. I got to the bottom of it and told his Guardian, who didn’t know. She put a stop to it by simply taking all electronics away at bedtime. It was a fight, but one that was necessary.
On the subject of screen time, it’s good to shut off all screens an hour before bed time. The blue light emitted from all screens interferes with our sleep cycle and makes it more difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. If your child is experiencing difficulty with sleep, talk to your pediatrician.
If your child is shy or seems to have trouble making friends, summer is a good time to practice social skills. Talk to your child about communicating with others. Demonstrating skills and role playing can help them learn and develop better interpersonal skills.
Playdates are also helpful. Spending time with friends during the summer can help with back-to-school worries. Knowing they have friends at school eases transitions.
If your child is starting at a new school, ask the school for recommendations, if there are summer activities that will allow your child to meet classmates. There may be a local recreation center or swimming pool where children from their school go. I love libraries. They offer fun programs that encourage reading and may be a good place to meet other children.
It's important to always talk about school in positive terms. If the previous school year was difficult for your child, offer them hope and encouragement that the next school year will be better and you are there to support them.
If your child has experienced something upsetting, or seems anxious or depressed, talk to your school. Most schools have mental health therapists and counselors on site. It’s good to jump on potential issues early. Don’t let concern that your child will be labeled stand in your way. School resources are there to help.
Covid has caused issues for everyone. Educators are concerned students aren’t as far along in their learning because of lock downs and conducting classes via computers. Children are resilient and they will catch up. We, as the adults in their lives, can be their support and can help them see the fun side of learning. Learning doesn’t just occur in the classroom, give your children experiences, nature walks, trips to the playground, regular trips to the library, time at the pool, a picnic in the park. All of these and more are opportunities for learning.
Have fun with your child! Again, enjoy the remaining days of summer!
DBT Friends and Family is a support group for individuals who have a loved one that is participating in DBT treatment. We understand that the DBT concepts and skills are foreign to you and that your loved ones behaviors, thoughts, and/or feelings may be confusing. We believe that you have a desire to help facilitate positive change.
The goal of DBT Friends and Family is two-fold:
1. We seek to support you and connect you with others who understand this stress
2. We seek teach you core DBT skills and concepts so that you can relate and help your loved one
This group is offered in both Anderson + Fairfield on a rotating basis. Ask the front office where the next class will meet
To sign up for the next meeting call the front office at 513-939-0300
Partners in a marriage do not live in the same world because of their own histories and experiences. They each perceive things in their own unique way and respond to each other and attribute certain values to things and those are different. The tendency most of us have is to convince our partner that our world is correct, the right one.
"If you just see it the way I am trying to explain it to you , you would understand and then everything would be okay. "
That is a hopeless endeavor.
It is normal to consider our partner to be the problem when difficulties arise. “I shouldn’t have to be the one to change.” The problem is that this position leads to a sense of helplessness, since it does not work.
Paradoxically, we have more influence on our partners when we stop trying to change them and instead work to become the best partner we can be. What type of partner do I aspire to be. Our partners develop respect for us when we make positive changes. This makes it more likely they will also make a positive change. Remember these powerful 2 letter words:
"IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME"
Jim Binder, MD